Cof’veve Salade au Spamme Internationale

For reasons that are not entirely clear, this internationally acclaimed recipe has suddenly taken the country by storm.

Cof’veve Salade au Spamme Internationale

Serves 2-4

Ingredients:

1 can Korean Spam

1 cup shredded lettuce

1 cup shredded cheese

1 cup cubed fresh Hawaiian pineapple

¼ tablespoon of Russian cof’veve (may substitute Saudi Arabian-style or Yemenese cof’veve for a more shawarma-style flavor. Some chefs use a Canadian blend but that’s considered a bit…conciliatory among cof’veve aficionados)

Preparation:

Carefully remove Spam from container and cut into medium slices. In a lightly oiled (don’t want to bruise the Spam) frying pan, sautee the Spam nonchalantly on one side, turn and fry more intensely on the flip side to give a Cajun texture.

Shred the lettuce and cheese, a la Mexican taco. Roast the pineapple cubes on ungreased rimmed baking sheet drizzled with toasted North Indian sesame oil and vegetable oil.

Dice the cooked Spam slices into small, quarter-inch nuggets and toss all into individual salad bowls.

At this point, the cof’veve (see photo at right) should be sprinkled lightly on top either using fingers or a small ornate spoon.

Caution: a little cof’veve goes a long way so do not be tempted to overdo this fascinating ingredient. The secret is to have a light touch and spread evenly.

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All photos copyright J. Veihdeffer, including…yes…really, the Korean Spam can. I don’t remember where I got it or if I even consumed it. But it was too good of a deal to pass up in whatever grocery I found it in.

Cinfully Tasty

 

Due to the phenomenal success of the coolest new summer drink in town (IceKaMo!), fans of Chef Boy R Vee have been clamoring for something tasty to “go with.” It’s actually getting to be something of a nuisance trying to calm down the masses who are simply not content with my Pâté de Spamme Terrine au Jus Mystère or my holiday treat, Fried Bologna Surprise or my Frozen Water Cubes a la Tray.

People, people! Get a grip. A new taste sensation has just been approved for release from the infamous  La Kitschenne 8540 (a Franco-German term that I may have made up while I was not at culinary school.)

We’re calling it The Cinful Strawb.

The inspiration came as I was testing out the concept on my back patio that ants will not cross a line of cinnamon. Crazy, eh? But to find out, I needed an industrial size jar of cinnamon — not just your casual, rookie-size, dilettante’s spice rack container.

Having conducted the experiment, I found that I had plenty of cinnamon left over and started wondering what to do with it.

Who can say where inspiration comes from? You got your Mozarts, your Picassos, your jailhouse rock Elvae. Personally, I like to get mine eating my Corn Flakes. And thus it was while slicing some strawberries that my muse paid a call.

The recipe is ridiculously easy:

1. Slice a strawberry in half
2. Spray some ReddiWip on it (or real whipped cream for extra sinfulness)
3. Sprinkle your cinnamon on it
4. Stick a toothpick somewhere in the vicinity to give it a classy Frenchie look

Voila: the slightly naughty, delightfully indulgent Cinful Strawb.

And will ants cross a cinnamon Maginot Line?

Apparently not. But it’s fun watching them try.

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All photos copyright J. Veihdeffer