Tag Archives: alien invasion

Rapture to Rupture

29 Sept 2025

Well, apparently The Rapture didn’t happen this week but I just heard that scientists have discovered “The Rupture”—hard evidence of alien interference in our planetary affairs over the past two years. To wit:

  • Tylenol suddenly appearing in everyone’s medicine cabinets;
  • Creating 7 new mystery wars that need to be magically stopped by someone;
  • Forcing Ohioans to eat their cats and dogs;
  • Windmills eating birds;
  • Erecting fake “For Sale” sign in Greenland and Manitoba;
  • Burning down Portland OR;
  • Luring ailing consumers into stores by pretending to reduce drug prices by 1000%

And…

  • Erecting billboards for personal injury law firms on every corner

In the meantime, we have just heard that Fox News tapped into the Alien Info Network (AIN) and found an off-the-record interview with an alien who asked to remain anonymous.

“We can do this the easy way…or the hard way.”

Update 30 Sept 2025
OMG. Those rascally Aliens are at it again. They’ve just tampered with our sacred map of the country and re-named the great state of New Mexico. It’s now “New Americo.”