Vigil Aunties Part V

1 June 2024

Note: this is a work in progress. Any film or theater moguls who wish to stage this are welcome to contact me.

Part I

Part II

Part III

Part IV

 

PART V

(click on images for sharper viewing)

News Report

Eyrie, IN Times-News

Police officials across the state are reporting unusual incidents of break-ins with damage or vandalism limited to the homeowner’s or renter’s computer.

“It’s highly uncommon to find such localized, specific cases of vandalism,” said acting Eyrie police captain, Angie O. Plasty. “There’s no evidence of anything stolen, just broken or dismantled electronics.”

Homeowner “Mike Hunt” (who asked not to be identified by his real name) said that he can’t imagine why anyone would go into his files and just delete files and memos. “It’s totally destructive and, frankly, looks sort of ‘woke.’” Whoever it was left a handwritten note saying “Leave our election officials alone!” — no name, no fingerprints, no business card.

“Sure, me and some fellow patriots sent a few friendly emails to our state election officials suggesting that they should be careful about their children in case something unfortunate would happen on the way to school, but it’s not like we said what exactly might happen or signed our names or anything,” Hunt added.

Meanwhile, a spokesperson for an activist mahjong group said “Send an anonymous email, get an anonymous visit from somebody.”

 Anonymous poster, thumbtacked to telephone poles around town, various cities

Vigil Aunties diary

By Auntie Edith and Auntie Mildred

(describes how they go about posting flyers surreptitiously)

Dear Diary,

Mildred isn’t feeling quite up to snuff so I’m writing for both of us today. Our group has been doing a grand job of getting our flyers up…wait, is it ‘flyers’ or ‘fliers’? Darn, I can never remember. Anyway, our crew (as we call ‘em) is very busy. We’re finding it helpful to have a small dog and a stroller since that gives us an aire of innocents…and the stroller is the perfeck spot to store the paper.

  Yesterday, a somewhat grumpy looking lady with terrible hair and way-too-tight jeans — all torn up and stuff — wanted to know why we kept circling the neighborhood. Bless her heart. Our little pooch started barkin’ on our secret command so she left us alone pretty quick-like.

   Anyhoo, we’re finding our best method is to go out in two’s so that one of us can distract any passers-by (passer bye’s?) while the other deposits the flyers in the free neighborhood newspaper bins. Altho we’re not crazy about being out at night, we’re finding that dusk is just about perfeck. Dark enough to get the work done but light enough not to nail our fingers to the tel pole like some kinda Jesus.

   Meanwhiles, the Nerd Core (‘Corps’? I hate that word; it just sounds like death) has been amazing. We dunno how they get into the anonymous bad guys’s computers—they call it hacking, whatever that means—but pretty sure they’re not actually going into houses anymore.

   Sad to say, the ‘anonoperves’ (I just made that up!) still seem to be flourishing since volunteer election workers, state election officials and others keep getting threats…and they’re so ungrammatical! (Mildred is telling me I’ve used up my quota of exclamation points so I better close for now.)

—Love, Edith (and Millie)