My original disc—which I sold on Amazon and at book fairs—had a wide variety of stories, satires, photos, wordplay, “listicles” (as we now call them), a journal of my trip to Dubai for an airshow, a goofy recipe and a few poems or “pomes.” The whole idea of using a CD, rather than a printed book, was so I could use different typographies, inset photos in the stories, color treatments and other graphical ideas I had. I also had a concept that I would actually create all the elements from scratch (other than manufacturing the CDs and jewel cases).
For the library event I thought I’d add a number of stories I’ve developed over the past 19 years.
What a project though! I’ve spent hours…
(1) buying and burning new discs, (2) buying and printing new labels for the discs, (3) transferring new discs to old jewel cases (to keep the printed insert)…and then, I realized that on my original discs I had just shoveled all the various versions onto the disc—sometimes with 4 or 5 revisions. Stupido!
Fortunately, this time I bought “RW” CDs so I can treat them like a USB drive and go back and forth with revisions. The guy at Best Buy who helped me find the CD labels kept mentioning that no one really uses CDs anymore…in fact, most new computers don’t even have a CD player. Nevertheless, I like the idea that a CD can have a printed graphical insert, a graphical disc, an ISBN bar code (which originally took as long to create as the whole dang CD)—all in a handy format that tells what it is. Much as I like USBs, they’re easy to lose and don’t advertise the contents.
As I started burning discs I found myself making all kinds of revisions to the disc info: more informative titles, creating folders, updating copyright dates, etc. It’s amazing how many revisions one can make if you’re a fussy craftsman.
Now, if only I could get my community college students to do that.
In case you’re interested, here’s the Table of Contents
♦ 01 Foreword-Forewarning
♦ Original CD items:
- On Becoming Eight Again
- On the Freeway of Love
- If I Were King of the World (list)
- 4th of July
- Xmas (Cover story: an account of a particular lively Christmas morning)
- Body Language (satire on what men think women think)
- Playing Favorites (party game)
- Flaming Bologna Surprise (pseudo recipe)
- The Tao of Wile E. Coyote (pseudo philosophical humor)
- Corinthians: Paul’s First Chain Letter (see papyrus, below)
- Bad Valentine’s Day songs
- Poems (“Saturday Night at the Arby’s Drive-Thru,” “Song for a Hammock,” etc)
- and more!
- Biblical Quiz (So you think you know the Bible? 19 basic questions that’ll show you don’t)
- Corinthians chain letter: the papyrus (jpg file)
- Reading the Bible for All the Wrong Reasons
- New biblical scrolls discovered!
♦ Political satire
- Jesus: Making Judea Great Again
♦ Refrigerator Poetry
- Delicate Goddess
- Drool Road Boy
“The 3 Best Days in a Student’s Life” (hint: not senior year)
“Dead Ants Tell No Tales” (ant extermination project)
“Holy Wine Wars” (wine satire: religious vs pagan wines)
“Ionic Chakra Alignment” (New Age alt med)
“Non-Remembrance of Things Past” (memoir: university literary prize winner)
“One Mile from Home” (text and pix from north-central Phoenix)
“Route 666” (how not to get your kicks)
“Spam-ku” article (reprinted from Verbatim magazine)
“The Terrier Who Couldn’t Bark” (written by “Chili,” a Jack Russell terrier)
“Victoria Day-sequel version” (movie treatment where the end comes first)
“Women are like cigarettes”
The CD itself is too large to post anywhere, but if any of the items listed above catch your fancy, just contact me and I’ll send ’em to you via email…no charge.