Prediction (feel free to tape it)

Does Trump have a Comey tape or not?

Pressed on the issue last Friday, Trump said “I’ll tell you about that maybe sometime in the very near future.” (CNN) (see update, below)

I’m going to commit myself to a prediction.

[insert ghostly psychic music here]


He’s got nothing but a 5th-grade bully taunt (apologies to 5th graders everywhere).

Here’s what we’ll hear from Trump in the next few days–whether prompted by Fake News outlets like CNN and The New York Times or just volunteered.

“OK, I’m gonna tell ya what the story is. No tapes. <long pause> Gotcha!”

And this will be followed up by something like,

“I told ya you’d be disappointed! So disappointed. Very very disappointed.”


“Believe me, if there were tapes, they would totally corroborate my statements.”


“I know how you fake news folks like to focus on unimportant things, so unimportant, like whether or not there was collusion with our administration’s extensive Russian business interests and tapes, or videos or snapchats or whatever. I so totally had nothing to do with whatever is being spouted by the sore losers — whether it’s fake Russia news, covfefe or rigged elections — so I was just baiting you. Now, can we get back to the critical business of bringing imaginary coal mining jobs back to the people who elected me?”

“I don’t understand why the president just doesn’t clear this matter up once and for all,” said Sen. Susan Collins, R-Maine, referring to the existence of any recordings.

Answer: Because Trump thinks he’s still on a TV reality show where cliffhangers before the commercial are de rigueur — part of the fun.

Maybe the Trump presidency ought to be renamed…something like, oh, The Apprentice.*

*Because, as House Speaker Paul Ryan said, “He’s just new to this.”
Update: Trump  announced (or admitted) on June 22  that there’s no tape. Oddly, he’s claiming that this somehow vindicates him, or justifies his little 3rd-grader prank (I’ve downgraded it from 5th-grade). This comes 40 days after his initial impish tweet: “James Comey better hope that there are no ‘tapes’ of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press.” Trump implied that he raised the possibility of tapes in a strategic fashion to ensure that Comey would tell the truth, but, ironically, he now claims victory in getting Comey to come clean…which he seemingly has done, but to the utter disembowelment of Trump’s case.

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