Samsung Names Celebrity Spokesperson


New Galaxy Note 7 Spokesperson Will Set Moderate Tone for Smartphone Damage Control

Phoenix,  Oct. 11, 2016 /PRNewswire/ — Samsung (NYSE: SSNLF) announced today that the company has engaged the services of one of the most temperate and respected spokespeople in modern public life to help offset recent technology woes the company has been experiencing with the Galaxy Note 7 smartphone.

The announcement naming Donald Trump was made at a press conference in Phoenix.

samsung-note-7-trump-quintus“I’ll convey the company’s interests in the kind of measured, honest and transparent tones that I’ve built my fabulous businesses such as my casinos, my university, my airline, my tremendously successful USFL football team, vodka, steaks, dietary supplement scheme and water bottles and other hugely winning products on. It may take some groping to get the exact, whatchacallit…verbiage…but once we get the company unshackled from all the liberal media bias, we’ll make this innocent company that’s the victim of slurs and totally unfair name-calling great again,” Trump said. “Guaranteed.”

“Game over for naysayers,” Trump added. “To be perfectly honest, this’ll turn the company around.”

Trump followed up the press conference with a Tweet:






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