I got to wondering how what is normally just a simple silly season of politicking turned into an all-out schoolyard douchenugget wazzockfest . . . and then I noticed something funny happening . . .
Justice Clarence Thomas spoke.
This was something else, something funny on my front walkway.
Funny odd, not funny laughing.
Funny alien, not funny as in “A priest, an imam and a rabbi walked into a bar . . .”
What I found was that apparently aliens (ETs that is, not border-jumpers) have irradiated my peaceable little kale and agave plants and turned them into monsters.
Consider this innocent plant from Dec. 3, 2015
Now see what happened after the aliens sent their radiation rays.
Now check out the growth of this agave plant…
and this small bush which was barely the size of a thumbnail over the holidays.
But I’m not fibbing at all about [insert drum roll]…
Yes…a giant alien strawberry that’s almost 8 cm in length! Twice the size of an ordinary Earth-harvested strawb. Not to get all sciencey on you, but this is larger than a Girl Scout “Thin Mint” cookie and jumbo cashew (the internationally recognized standards of measurement) put together.
Hey ETs: Listening?