Mom rips up photo

Riyadh, Saudi Arabia

My mom tore up my picture last week.

Or at least that’s the word I hear from my genial stepdad. He didn’t present the news in a threatening or censuring way. He was “just letting me know.”

Now, when your mom tears up your photograph most people would be all shaken up, like, “OK now what did I do?”

But in this case I had a pretty good idea why.

It’s the goatee.

I’m not generally a big fan of personal facial hair on my personal self but since I’m now living in a land where a bare face is like a bare bottom — wait, that metaphor didn’t work out quite like I planned — I thought I’d give it a try myself.

Saudis typically do sport some form of goatee.  The King himself has an amazingly black one. And when I say amazingly, we’re talking shoe-polish- black.  It’s good to be the king.

Frankly, part of my motivation is simply to present a somewhat more fierce look to my students. I think it’s working — I recently got a comments that I look like Bruce Willis or Hulk Hogan.

But mom isn’t quite so intimidated.  She refused to hang up my brother’s picture on the family wall of fame in the spare bedroom for the past two years when he had his beard. She often complained “I just don’t have any pictures of  your brother!”

Of course she saves all my writings in some kind of binder, but I’m thinking my days are numbered as Number One Son if she gets any more hirsute pictures via e-mail.

I try to call her about once a week, even though the connection via my VoIP phone is spotty so our conversations don’t last very long. The first thing she wanted to know this week was: “Do you still have that…thing on your face”?

I’m tempted to post both pre-beard and beard pictures here, but I’m a little afraid you might agree with my mother.


3 comments on “Mom rips up photo

  1. Jennifer says:

    Yes, my own son insists on having, I can’t even call it a goatee, this bristly spot which is about the size of a thumbnail. His is ginger-coloured and I quite like it. 🙂

  2. Jim's favorite "C" setter says:

    goatees make me sick too… the stepson sometimes get a bee up his butt and wears one like that…YUCK>>>

  3. Don says:

    Yippee Kaye Ay, Mother. Come on, Mom. This erstwhile image of Arizona’s future and pundit of the downtrodden is only having some fun (you never tried on a really funky dress, just for the hell of it?). Give in and give the poor goy a break. Think about it. The goatee he can shave off. Instead of Saudi Arabia he could’ve gone to Alaska and OMG (that image has got to bring you back down to Earth).


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