Who ARE those guys?

I want Jon and Kate’s publicity agent.

I mean, is there a day that goes by without some mention of them in my face?

I open up my web browser. There they are.

I stand in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store. There they are. (Not in person, of course, but screaming from the tabloids…which I don’t read…much.)

I hear an excerpt of a Letterman monologue on the radio. There they are.

Every single day.

I still have no idea who they are though. Something about being married…or planning to be married. Something about having some kids (eight?). Something about one of them cheating on the other. Something about divorce.

Here’s what I do know:

1) They’re on some TV show
2) The guy’s name is spelled without an ‘h’

Yet they are somehow the most publicized couple in the galaxy. They even push the British Idol singing lady, the Vatican guy with the pointy hat and the talk show queen who promotes Jenny McCarthy’s latest attempt to trick gullible parents into not having their kids vaccinated to the back pages.

I have to admit, I Googled their name. There were nearly 39 million citations. Then I Googled “cancer cures.” There were 593,000 citations. Mostly for quack remedies like ionized water.

That’s some smokin’ publicity machine.

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3 comments on “Who ARE those guys?

  1. charlottesal says:

    They are the family some people watch to make themselves feel better RATHER than take action in their own lives.

    Easy fix.

  2. John B says:

    I admit that I’ve never seen them on TV, except for some of the “Inquierer” TV shows like Extra, but that’s only because I’m not fast enough to turn the dang thing off after the news. My wife gets People magazine from time to time and they (Jon and Kate) seem to be in that all of the time. The value of reality TV is something I truly am slow to get, apart from AFV that is. My 7 year old son just loves to see the stupid-pet-tricks section… especially the dog that says “I Love You”.

    • jveeds says:

      AFV? Personally, I’m more of a Survivor guy myself. I used to be an Apprentice watcher but I’m afraid they jumped the shark with Joan Rivers.

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