I want Jon and Kate’s publicity agent.
I mean, is there a day that goes by without some mention of them in my face?
I open up my web browser. There they are.
I stand in line at the checkout counter at the grocery store. There they are. (Not in person, of course, but screaming from the tabloids…which I don’t read…much.)
I hear an excerpt of a Letterman monologue on the radio. There they are.
Every single day.
I still have no idea who they are though. Something about being married…or planning to be married. Something about having some kids (eight?). Something about one of them cheating on the other. Something about divorce.
Here’s what I do know:
1) They’re on some TV show
2) The guy’s name is spelled without an ‘h’
Yet they are somehow the most publicized couple in the galaxy. They even push the British Idol singing lady, the Vatican guy with the pointy hat and the talk show queen who promotes Jenny McCarthy’s latest attempt to trick gullible parents into not having their kids vaccinated to the back pages.
I have to admit, I Googled their name. There were nearly 39 million citations. Then I Googled “cancer cures.” There were 593,000 citations. Mostly for quack remedies like ionized water.
That’s some smokin’ publicity machine.