How to play 18 holes of golf using only 9

June 15, 2009

My mother seems to have invented, albeit unwittingly, a new way to save on costly and environmentally unfriendly golf course development.

Titlelist - moonlikeShe has, in fact, discovered how to play nearly a full 18 holes using just the front nine of the Lawrence Park golf course.

I’m not saying she’s doing this for ecological reasons; after all, she has been pounding out divots on golf courses from Erie, Pa. to Fort Myers, Fla. to Tempe, Ariz. for, um, shall we say the better part of a century.

No, the game she has developed is what we call “Full Mulligan Golf.” That is, she just drops a second ball whenever she doesn’t like her first attempt (which apparently is fairly often — and I mean no disrespect). In this way, she manages to swing the club approximately twice the number of times that an ordinary anti-earth, anti-ecological linkster might.

And, since most of her swings involve using a wood (I didn’t think they even made a 9-wood), she’s not digging up a lot of turf these days.

In case the Lawrence Park greenskeepers are fretting…she does use a putter on the greens. And if her drive doesn’t make it over the creek on the 9th hole with her shag bag ball, she just picks up and calls it macaroni.

Not bad for a gal with more than four-score years on her cleats.

golf ball photo copyright © 1987 by Jim Veihdeffer


One comment on “How to play 18 holes of golf using only 9

  1. Karen Bean says:

    I’m not a golf playing old lady, but I’m an old lady none-the-less, at least I feel quite old most days. Your mother sounds like my kind of golfing buddy if I were to ever give it a ‘swing’. Love your ideas and wit.

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