Virtual frontier justice

I see in The Arizona Republic, “Feds ready to build ‘virtual fence’ along border.”

Presumably this will keep out the virtual smugglers and virtual illegal immigrants.

But now that I’ve had time to think about it (as long as it took to pour a cup of joe, which is actually longer than I think about most things), I can see that this could be the next big thing in law enforcement, following the example of online university classes.

I’m calling it “Online Law Enforcement.”

See, drug smugglers and immigrants would register for doing whatever dirty deeds they’d like to commit. Then, they’d submit these deeds via a virtual Internet forum to the feds. The feds could ask questions, like “Will you be bringing enough virtual water to attempt to cross the border?” or “What virtual weapons, if any, will you be bringing”?

There could be essay questions too — “Compare and contrast the hardships of the three missionary journeys of St. Paul to the problem of crossing the Arizona border three times to bring in drugs or immigrants.”

Credit would be given to virtual smugglers and immigrants who demonstrate both proper survival skills and active participation in the forums.

At the end of the session, a virtual county sheriff (which is not such a far cry from what we have now) would be dispatched to place the miscreants in a virtual jail.

Next problem?


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